Dally

Don’t let thoughts of letting go,

Molest your peace of mind.

Don’t let death seduce you into its outstretched arms.

If you wish to consort with pain,

Do so by dreaming dreams that can break,

But also allow you the pleasure of rebuilding.

Let the ‘p’ that tantalizes your overthinking,

Be of possibilities and not problems.

Don’t scoff at the prospect of befriending hope.

All it ever wanted was to be of help,

When whorls of addictive sleepless thinking abused you,

Substantially bullying you into seeking sanctuary,

Under the deceptive security blades could offer.

The warmth you yearn was never externally present,

It has always been internally accessible.

Intangible but susceptible to your needs.

A light you’ve carried by subconsciously disguising it,

As worthlessness and a self-deprecating opinion,

Of your true worth that is a hundredfold,

Brighter a flame than your self-immolation.

You say it’s all clichéd and unconvincing,

But undecorated truths are always preferable,

To court with all their nobility than ornamented lies,

That caress your sense of reality and perception.

For once dally with pain that accompanies,

The rebuilding of your structure at the hands,

Of your own novice architecture.

Let the uncertainty be a guide pushing you towards,

The untried pursuits of happiness,

You do not believe to exist outside of imagination.

But if you want to believe anything,

Know that you are the candidate most deserving,

Of your friendship and kindness,

That you are unwilling to bestow upon yourself.

Underlying

Genuinely fine I am, but

The underlying sadness, I cannot fake

There is stress over emotions, but

All of my good energy, it can’t take

 

Always been one of balance

Never of emotional instability

Even when momentarily unstable

It wasn’t public property

 

It’s so much easier

To talk to them in my head

Where they can hear

What I’ve left unsaid

 

But there’s chaos

 

There’s chaos in my heart

There’s chaos in my head

There’s chaos in all

That I’ve left unsaid

 

Every time I question

My moral codes

I find myself at

Invisible crossroads

 

“How can it be wrong,

If it feels so right?”

What is this struggle?

Some eternal fight?

 

At the very core

The stress has a seed

In the happiness an underlying

Sadness, one I can’t read

_____________

 

Assembled what I was feeling into a piece.

 

— Pratty

Little corner~

 

And the little lights dotted the sky
The little girl looked up in wonder
She saw smiles, and hopes
Floating above
From her dark little corner
Wrapped in a threadbare rag
Listening to her father snore
Little eyes full of wonder
Her hopes crashing asunder
From her dark little corner
Listening to the wind
Trespass through the holes
In their tent
And her heart’s little corner.

__________

My first for NaPoWriMo. 🙂

 

— Pratty

Unexpected, and precious.

Yesterday, it was a day of rushes.

We were gonna meet our cousins Raja bhai and Rana bhai after 13 or so years, during the weekend. The plans weren’t even fixed, then sis says “Get ready, we’re going to meet them. Now.”

I couldn’t process it.

Raja bhai recently got married. They’re visiting Orissa (our state) for the reception.

While we were at this resort with them, chatting, reminiscing and stuff… I was still in a daze. So stunned. I won’t lie, I seriously thought this could easily be one of those super realistic dreams.

That’s Rana bhai. 🙂

Every time I was asked something, I had this blank look. And they were like “Haha, you’re always so confused :P”… Which I admit, at the time, I was.

We have some family issues because of which we hadn’t been able to meet them in such a long time.

Yesterday the time we spent together was less, but so precious.

Loved meeting Priya bhabhi. She’s lovely. 😀

When sis and I reached the rendezvous, Rana bhai was napping in the car. I stick my face to the window and knock. I swear, his expression was priceless!

I wish… I wish had talked more. But I was so unprepared for the whole thing. Besides, sis and both the brothers were in the same boarding school for a few years. They had a LOT to recall, laugh about, and simply cherish the memories.

Today, we were going to meet them again… But due to some unforeseen circumstances, we couldn’t. I knew something of the sort would happen, but what hit me was the fact that it might be years before we see them again…

But. It’s okay.

This meetup can last me a lifetime.

They had to leave early, or else we’d have had another hour or so to us.

We went back home, freshened up, were leaving for my much-needed haircut, when we came across my buddy from grade 3, Gurudipan. After so many years. Geez.

The best things seem to happen in the most unexpected of ways. And on the oddest of days.

— Pratty

A thank you, and NaPoWriMo conquered!

Whoa, 44 followers! I mean, I started this blog 15 days ago. Wow. THANK YOU! For stopping by, reading the posts, tolerating my poetry and whatnot. 😀 So unexpected. Yet delightful. 

So, yeah. NaPoWriMo. I did it! 😀 When I started mid-of-the-month, I had a feeling that I’ll end up writing more than 30 poems in 15 days, and I did. I could’ve easily written short 8-lined poems and be done with it… But I no, I preferred writing fully-formed ones and they were time consuming. Anyway, all’s well that ends well, right?

I’m so happy at the prospect of having been productive these past two weeks, doing what is natural to me – poetry. And a bit of photography.

I hope I’ll be able to keep up a steady pace between my writing, which by the way, has improved heaps. 😀

To be very honest, the feedback on here and my friends’ support kept me going more than anything. A BIG THANK YOU!

 

– A very grateful Pratty