Night Vision

We were merely two wolves
Carrying embankments in our howling chests
Falling for our moons, in reflections of disturbed ponds
Acquaintances we were, of parallel woods
Not much thought spared
Other than the occasional, the customary
We were merely two wolves
Streaking through the wilderness
Within and without
Barely touching borders
Barely touching
Each other
And now nights roll out, carpets of moss to tread on
I hear you, I hear us
Soft padded thuds, footsteps or simply what we feel?
We howl, not echoing each other
For we let out the sorrows clawing our subdued eyes
Can I rest my tired head against your shoulder?
Guarding these walls has drained me
The reminders ache in the form of thorns embedded
Underfoot
Trespasser
Can I rest my head against yours?
It’s a quiet place of peace
Where our borders merge
A silent breathing space of no-meaning
Yet as we breathe us in, I wonder
When did darkness become a silhouette
Of warmth?

Advertisements

Names Ache, Namesake

 

Imagine a fragment of the universe
The layout of galaxies flickering
In the blackness
Swirling, spiralling, in and out of each other

Pulse. Flicker. Pulse.
Here, horizons don’t exist
But we do
Hypnotic
We share more than a name
This must be what it’s like to, just, be
We have encircled each other for far too long

Two clouds of mist, shapeless, formless
Merging, emerging
Conversations, not interacting
Just upending
The contents of these bodies and minds
Of celestial matter they say we are
‘Mass’
Yes, mass, that must be it

The mutual heaviness, the synchronized unloading
Do you feel this
I’d place your gentle hand over my heart
If you were here
Yet we can feel the tides and maelstroms
Raging in us in response
To each other
Do you think the pianists of old could compose a masterpiece so simple?
I doubt.
But it’s us and I love it
I love the sense of echoing quiet when we converse
In abstract fragments but both know
The picture by heart
A picture with a feeling
Of ripples in rivers surging within
Laps of soothing melody
Has it been said before? Sometimes names are magic
I like this feeling, we should talk more often
What are you? Fuck. You’re magic.
Life doesn’t seem so scrambled like eggs right now
Or like constellations dispersed throughout dark ceilings
Flicker. Pulse. Flicker.
Back to stars and galaxies
Things my puny existence does not understand
We should leave science to the scientists and astronauts
And the understanding of us to our explorations
Swirling, spiralling in and out of each other

Namesake.
Names… ache.
We ache together
We wonder, we find
To our explorations
From sloppy kisses to our analogies
Of the fullness and lack of meaning
In the fragile moments of lip-lock stillness
The void they’re invitations to

“Come meet me at the edge and let’s fall together”

We express. We echo.

And so we ache under the burning light of nights
And days, a shadow choreography
Of flickering tangerine

We can dig graves
And our hearts
Be grave robbers
There’s always something to take
From the dead
So we sigh and speak lyrical
We are paintings of our cubist selves
We’re the same picture
Cubism is what it has been
You and I
Identical, cubed, differently arranged
Pulse. Flicker. Pulse.
Namesake,
I love you.

Goodbye

I never let you go
I waited for the possibility of an ‘us’ to erase itself
I never pursued you
I indulged in the thought of loving you
Without wanting to be loved back
Now there’s someone where I could’ve been
I didn’t let you go
I waited for the possibility of an ‘us’ to erase itself
Now there’s an empty space where you have been
For a quarter of a decade
It’s empty but not the absent and something-is-missing kind
It’s space that feels empty but like it could be filled
With some nice
Nice is a nice word to begin with
Goodbye
It was nice loving you

Ethereal Eternities

 

I’m floating through the ether
On a sea of time
Time… A fabricated concept
Light years passing
In the micro of a nano second it takes
To switch lanes from one thought to another
I’m floating through the ether
A flame riding on the back
Of a moth so frozen our love doesn’t burn
We are nebulae destined to collapse
Forming and reforming
A sight of wonder-vending wishes
Even in celestial demise

Dear Lover

Will your soul ever forgive mine?
For not being the moon you fell in love with
That couldn’t shine bright enough to keep you well
And content
To soothe aches that are older
Than you and I
Can you tell that I’m sorry
For getting us this far
On a biasedly balanced boat
As we float
On the affection of your heart
Rocking to the tides mine tries to create
A hole in us
A black hole where we float still
Swirls of sinking sensations filling
Our leaking containers of compassion
As we are flooded by waves pulling us under
And my last and truest sight
Is of you
Watching me like the moon you thought I would
And I wished I could
Be

Strand-ed

 

If I reach inside
Will I be able to grab hold
Of these flailing strands of thought?
Suspended wisps in a darkened void
Of not-knowing

Will I, well, am I
Any longer
Capable of acknowledging them
Honouring them
Instead of this recent practice
Of disrespecting by ignoring them?

Am I only a question-bearer to myself now?
Did I, in pursuit of some other quest, discard the answer-seeker?

A sledge to an empty carriage
From bereft did I descend to spent?
If so, is this it?
The limitation, the capacity
To capacitate all I’ve ever held within?

The tools to build and craft
The art
Breathing its last as I pen
This into a collected spiral
Which has soaked in enormities
Of creations
I was unaware I could shape

Perhaps, just perhaps
This isn’t the end
The credits haven’t rolled in yet
No, this isn’t it

This however
Is once again
A time period of transformation
And like every metamorphosis ever undergone
It’s carving its story onto cavern walls
Far, far from my textual, vocal cords

It hurts

Onyx

There is a blanket of darkness
The stars have veiled their luminescence
This is our hold over the universe
There is a blanket of darkness
Our passions are naked underneath
Shall I make love to you, my love?
My words a wild caress undressing your thoughts
It’s a do till you die, a sigh till you cry
I’ll make you bleed cobalt blue
With my lips as I kiss
The parting through which
Countless affections you utter
In this velvet blackness where we stumble
And I am awakened when you stutter
Should I show you, my love?
The parts of me etched in onyx
Writhing lamentations of an undead romance
I’d ask you to be my mosque, to be my church
But no, no
Be my burial ground
Bury your all in me and when death does us part
I’ll be lowered into your soft earth
Going to sleep, cradled
In your arms
So shall I make love to you, my love?
A stroke here of neon and one there of pastel
Till dawn is over shock and amazement
To shine its first on our tangled existence
So look, my love, behold our magnificence
There’s a blanket of darkness
So much of us naked underneath
Rampant and raw, a rumble of hidden constellations
Buried between the spaces
Unable to be told apart, as yours or mine
Throw back your head
There are places of you that haven’t felt me yet
The curve of your neck
Is inviting my verses to take it in
So, shh, my love
We’re just getting started

Zen

Do you know why I wanted to live my life alone?
It’s like, I wanted to stuff myself into these pockets of time
Without any intention of returning home
I wanted to fold myself into a rucksack with dirt and grime
But now over that route a different light has shone

You’re changing the structure
The ‘culars with which I analyzed that future
Pouring storms over magma-esque explosions
You’re changing the horizon of a future I once envisioned

I still struggle to waltz through a collage of collisions
Picturing you and I in a time that didn’t before exist
Perhaps we could paint the picture together
An abstract of murals, mountains, and mist

Alone was never what I wanted to be
Alone was the place where
I wanted to be
But I see now what I didn’t see then
Unconventional, unpredictable, unrestrained
I found you
I found zen