Names Ache, Namesake

 

Imagine a fragment of the universe
The layout of galaxies flickering
In the blackness
Swirling, spiralling, in and out of each other

Pulse. Flicker. Pulse.
Here, horizons don’t exist
But we do
Hypnotic
We share more than a name
This must be what it’s like to, just, be
We have encircled each other for far too long

Two clouds of mist, shapeless, formless
Merging, emerging
Conversations, not interacting
Just upending
The contents of these bodies and minds
Of celestial matter they say we are
‘Mass’
Yes, mass, that must be it

The mutual heaviness, the synchronized unloading
Do you feel this
I’d place your gentle hand over my heart
If you were here
Yet we can feel the tides and maelstroms
Raging in us in response
To each other
Do you think the pianists of old could compose a masterpiece so simple?
I doubt.
But it’s us and I love it
I love the sense of echoing quiet when we converse
In abstract fragments but both know
The picture by heart
A picture with a feeling
Of ripples in rivers surging within
Laps of soothing melody
Has it been said before? Sometimes names are magic
I like this feeling, we should talk more often
What are you? Fuck. You’re magic.
Life doesn’t seem so scrambled like eggs right now
Or like constellations dispersed throughout dark ceilings
Flicker. Pulse. Flicker.
Back to stars and galaxies
Things my puny existence does not understand
We should leave science to the scientists and astronauts
And the understanding of us to our explorations
Swirling, spiralling in and out of each other

Namesake.
Names… ache.
We ache together
We wonder, we find
To our explorations
From sloppy kisses to our analogies
Of the fullness and lack of meaning
In the fragile moments of lip-lock stillness
The void they’re invitations to

“Come meet me at the edge and let’s fall together”

We express. We echo.

And so we ache under the burning light of nights
And days, a shadow choreography
Of flickering tangerine

We can dig graves
And our hearts
Be grave robbers
There’s always something to take
From the dead
So we sigh and speak lyrical
We are paintings of our cubist selves
We’re the same picture
Cubism is what it has been
You and I
Identical, cubed, differently arranged
Pulse. Flicker. Pulse.
Namesake,
I love you.

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Clockwork Town

From the hull of ships
That could carry lake-fulls of rum
To an inwardly shrunk decanter
I’ve become

Not much liquor in my breath
Nor the stench of haphazardly formed texts
Perishing in the stampede
In the labyrinthine tunnel of expression

From thought to word to throat
Led astray by worldly distractions
But more importantly
Derailed by the inner haunting carnivals
At every junction

How, how do I go from being a brewery to a town

Functioning on an untimely schedule
I’m a clockwork town
Streetlamps lit with proses
Shadows cast by spectres of words lost

Either at the sword-point of flowing nibs
Or dispersed throughout the universe
Unfurling with exhaling breaths

Goodbye

I never let you go
I waited for the possibility of an ‘us’ to erase itself
I never pursued you
I indulged in the thought of loving you
Without wanting to be loved back
Now there’s someone where I could’ve been
I didn’t let you go
I waited for the possibility of an ‘us’ to erase itself
Now there’s an empty space where you have been
For a quarter of a decade
It’s empty but not the absent and something-is-missing kind
It’s space that feels empty but like it could be filled
With some nice
Nice is a nice word to begin with
Goodbye
It was nice loving you

Curling Flames

Hallways warm with curling flames
Licking the wind upward
Newborn dreams
We’ve been veterans in these riots of anticipations
Architects of entire cities built with pages of planners
Months, years, decades laid out
The manicured terraces that didn’t bear fruit
These hallways reek of petrichor, the human kind
Soft earth of young hearts damp with showers of knowledge
Fountain of youth, was always probably the newborn dreams
Still locked in place with these bone-aching hopes
Immortalized in these moments, unscathed
It showers me with a renewed vigour
A drizzle where torrential beasts spawned curling flames into wildfires
Is it possible, the afterlife after being defeated
Outstretching its bandaged arms towards me?
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
There is more to being alive than being a clockwork veteran
Homeward bound now to a wasteland of ash and carrion trees
To start again a wildfire but of cosmic proportions
Once these curling leaves have raged into roaring beasts again

Dusk

I like the dark words
The ones heavy on my tongue
Dripping like the juices of stolen fruits
Bitten into with despair and sorrow
Like a sky full of black feathers
Making their descent with heraldry of the dead
Beatings of wings crooning into the night
With their captivating spell
Quiet is such a beautiful incantation
Of all things lost and unspoken
Yes give me the dark words and the heavy ones
I walk with mighty strength to carry them on my back
On my tongue
In my throat
Without choking
People are confounded by this obsession
This proneness to being seduced by an unhealthy platter
Of words
Too heavy
Yet too fulfilling
For this unbound appetite
Eyeing intangible things with an unquenchable thirst

Phantom Pirate

The cavity in my chest is too familiar an ache
If hollows were literal
I would reach into the darkness
Let it seize my wrist with an invitation
To the realms I carry within
The dark worlds and the standby worlds
Swirling and heaving
Tendrils of my thoughts
Sucking the vicinity, my surroundings, into itself
It feels so pretentious and repetitive
Like these bones, this blood, these organs doing their thing
Have all memorized the routes of emotions I sail through
As if there are no new maps
No new ships with glorious sails snapping in the wind
No new pirate to mould myself into
And pillage through new lands and territories
The gaping abyss sighs, rhythmic booms echoing through my lonesome corridors of thought
Imaginary rapiers and daggers clanging at my hip
I pick a pinch of the swirling darkness from my chest
Setting the wisp on an eye I gasp at the action
Perhaps this is the price to pay
For new worlds and naval corridors to sail through
Perhaps, if I do not stop seeing what I was made to see
I’ll never find what I wish to find
The wisdom I’ve acquired may expire or sink
An eye patched for a vision
The hull spelling my name will tear through this chest, this abyss
Through my entire being if it must
It must taste the wind waiting to guide its bulk through unknown waters
It must groan under my reckless, starving captainship
It must stay alive
It must sail and strive
Through storms and wreckage
Through nights without lighthouses
It must come face to face with sunken legends of old
And crash through waves writhing and writing lores of its own

Ethereal Eternities

 

I’m floating through the ether
On a sea of time
Time… A fabricated concept
Light years passing
In the micro of a nano second it takes
To switch lanes from one thought to another
I’m floating through the ether
A flame riding on the back
Of a moth so frozen our love doesn’t burn
We are nebulae destined to collapse
Forming and reforming
A sight of wonder-vending wishes
Even in celestial demise

Dear Lover

Will your soul ever forgive mine?
For not being the moon you fell in love with
That couldn’t shine bright enough to keep you well
And content
To soothe aches that are older
Than you and I
Can you tell that I’m sorry
For getting us this far
On a biasedly balanced boat
As we float
On the affection of your heart
Rocking to the tides mine tries to create
A hole in us
A black hole where we float still
Swirls of sinking sensations filling
Our leaking containers of compassion
As we are flooded by waves pulling us under
And my last and truest sight
Is of you
Watching me like the moon you thought I would
And I wished I could
Be

You and I

He watched the moon
A ghostly image of an orb
Hollowed from his chest

Aching, he watched
A silent astronomer
Counting phases

Several thousand light years away
She glowed
Pulsing with stolen light

“Imposter”, he whispered
Drenched in the silver
Of a moon he saw but didn’t feel

She floated through the ether
Galaxies away, a misfit, orbiting
Masses she was tied to

He waited
His breath slowing
Ever so faintly

Eyes pinned and peeling
Away layers of light and darkness
Searching

Searching

Searching

A moon not made
For the night sky
Of his flawed world

And she blazed
Through circles and cycles
With a tsunamic urge to break free

He ached
And she pulsed
To the rhythm of his aching chest

Unbeknownst of a meeting
Waiting
To align itself

For the shimmering orb to finally
Settle into the hollow
Moulded in the warmth of his heart