I will start anew

Every time

I fail to be true to what I want to say

How I want to say it

And whether it’s the truest I can be

I’ve been faltering far too much at the usually-simple act of writing

A certain feeling is missing

Possibly the one bridging the metal construct of my mind

With the concrete mixture of my heart

Whatever it is that I’m lacking

Is starting to hollow me out

Sense of purpose, concept, self-connect

Whatever it might be

I hope and now

I can only hope

That it restores itself into place

Before I uproot myself from the lack of release

And set the wooden carcass on fire




Do you know why I wanted to live my life alone?
It’s like, I wanted to stuff myself into these pockets of time
Without any intention of returning home
I wanted to fold myself into a rucksack with dirt and grime
But now over that route a different light has shone

You’re changing the structure
The ‘culars with which I analyzed that future
Pouring storms over magma-esque explosions
You’re changing the horizon of a future I once envisioned

I still struggle to waltz through a collage of collisions
Picturing you and I in a time that didn’t before exist
Perhaps we could paint the picture together
An abstract of murals, mountains, and mist

Alone was never what I wanted to be
Alone was the place where
I wanted to be
But I see now what I didn’t see then
Unconventional, unpredictable, unrestrained
I found you
I found zen