Leafing past ~

I came across a little notebook

With my poems from years ago

How I’ve changed and evolved

I did not think I would ever know

 

Thinning pages recognize me

The words climb into my lap

Once penned with compassion

They now fill memory gaps

 

Entwining, they ink through my arms

Surging to where they were conceived

Greeting offsprings, heart beats louder

Verses devour what wasn’t received

 

In my journey to go forward

I have left behind that little girl

Bent over pages by windows

As now her future unfurls

Longing~

Are you there? I’ve written you a song

A tuneless one that I cannot sing

I stare at my phone screen so long

Your number that I cannot ring

 

And in these moments of feeling torn

I bare my soul to you in silence

You raise the turmoil in my heart so worn

My thoughts clash in ecstatic violence

 

The shrine you’ve built around your heart

I’ve circled it times I cannot count

I wonder if this is friendship posed like art

Or to something else does it amount?

 

I’m full of questions I cannot ask

I wonder how your words would sound

In your ungiven affection I cannot bask

For how long will you be around?

Swiss cheese

The haunting memories were brought down

Every building a remembrance of the war

Destroyed, every bit, rebuilt

 

A part of their nation’s history

Told to the young only by the elders

No word in textbooks, amnesic guilt

 

No space behind walls to hide

When bullets had pierced every inch

Of havens temporary

 

Only articles old and bloody

Rest in ignored corners

Of some ignored library

 

Holes, holes everywhere

Burns you can heal

But never hide

 

The few remnants preserved

Swiss cheese made of carcasses

And cement mixed with blood

 

Thousands killed and their fault?

Belonging to a different religion

Standing under a different God

_____________

On the Lebanese Civil War. Which lasted from 1975-1990.

My Lebanese friend Joseph was telling us about it, shared photos (one of which I’ve included here) and it was all so haunting.

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– Pratty

 

Mute~

 

Pleasant conversations
Word-ly expressions
Untasted flavour of songs
I sit here staring at them
All around me
Lips moving, shaping words
Throats quivering, vocal cords
I sit here wondering what it tastes like
All those words, in their mouths
And how they match them facially
As they gracefully come out
I hear them with uncanny clarity
Sentences dotted
With tiny notes of emotions
They smile, they wave
I return them the favours
But I can’t keep my mind off
All the word-ly flavours
So many people, so many sounds
But of myself, I can make none
Nodding, relaying with signs
Exhaustion takes over
And as it often happens
I hear the downside of their advantage
Loud and clear
Noise, quarrels, disagreements
Untying knots of understanding
I sit here in crowds and gatherings
And I think
Maybe being mute
Isn’t that bad after all

 

__________

 

– Pratty

Holding back ~

 

I can write about everything I feel

But I cannot say

I wish these constrictions

Would just go away

 

When there are tears

I can never show

But paper and ink

They always know

 

When I’m happy

I cannot broadcast my smiles

Everyone says I’m made

Of puzzle tiles

 

I try so hard

To be expressive

But even to me the attempts

Are unimpressive

 

For once I want to tell them

How I feel

I wonder if the experience

Is somewhat surreal